1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
(I know the photo doesn't really have anything to do with the content of this post, but it's cool, no?)