This Winter in Melbourne

The hardest part about winter is having to get out of bed. Snuggling up in bed is one of my favourite activities and thankfully, being on holiday means I get to sleep in as much as I want. But I have learnt from previous experience that this will inevitably lead to the depressing feeling that I am wasting my life away. Don't let yourself get caught in this trap! Go out, experience culture. Here are some things to do in Melbourne this winter that are better for your health than sleeping all day (though if you do get Swine Flu from one of these places, don't blame me).

The Bang Gang Monthly

There is only a small handful of DJs who could convince me to dance at a trashy club and let my dignity fall by the wayside. The Bang Gang are one of them. Ajax, Doom and Hoodrat are back at Sorry Grandma, where we can can all dance away our winter chills.

Friday 26 June

Sorry Grandma, Corner of Uniacke court and Little Bourke st

The Birmingham Hotel's First Birthday

After getting a revamp a year ago, The Birmy (as it's known to locals) has become a pretty cool place. Come celebrate the first anniversary of it being 'pretty cool' with FREE ENTRY and 12 pretty cool bands... well, maybe 11, since the Frowning Clouds are nowhere near being pretty cool, but still, 12 bands for the price of FREE is a great bargain. 

Saturday 27 June

333 Smith st, Fitzroy (corner of Johnston st)

More details here

Hello Sailor Vintage Fair

Just what the title says really, though the title doesn't mention the sausage sizzle and DJs that will also be there. Thumbs up.

1-6pm 27 - 28 June

Carlton Hotel and Studios, 193 Bourke st

The Clothing Exchange

Need some new clothes, but you can't afford to go shopping? Then the Clothing Exchange is for you. Take along 6 garments or accessories, swap 'em for buttons which is the only valid currency at TCE, and fight your way (no doubt it will be popular) to a refreshed wardrobe.

6.30pm 29 June

Atrium, Federation Square, Corner of Flinders and Swanston sts

More details here

Ice Skating at QV

"Ice skating and winter go hand-in-hand and the best place to enjoy winter this year is QV, where you can ice skate hand-in-hand with your special someone or bring the kids and let them experience the best of winter, on QV’s synthetic rink located in QV Square." Cute! I've always wanted to try ice skating, but I know I will end up gracelessly sprawled on the ice. Still, it'll be fun to wear mittens and frolic amongst the synthetic snow and pine trees. If only winter was as beautiful as it looks in New York movies.

June 27 - July 25

More details here

The aforementioned Bastille Day Ball

July 12

This is Not a Design Market

This is Not a Design Market aims to support local designers where everything from clothing, music, lighting, furniture, homewares and graphic design will be on offer. Apparently there will also be a bar! If all goes well with the first Design Market, there will be others all across Australia. 

Sunday 19 July

The Factory, 500 Latrobe st, Melbourne

More details here

Melbourne International Film Festival

Oh boy I love film festivals. I don't often get to the movies (due to time/financial restraints), but I will make the effort for a film festival film, which I know are less likely to come out on DVD and more likely to be awesome. Winter is the best time for going to the movies. The festival programme comes out July 10.

July 24 - August 9

More details here

Friendly Fires

These kids told So So Modern to change the name of their EP (which was called Friendly Fires and came about not too long before Friendly Fires started to get noticed in the UK), OR ELSE. I held a grudge against them for a little while, but then I heard their album which is so ridiculously fun that I now pretend that I always loved them, like a true pretentious music jerk. I can't wait to dance at this gig!

July 29

Prince Bandroom, 29 Fitzroy st, St Kilda

It's sold out, so unless you already have a ticket, you ain't going. Sorry.

If you know of any other events that you think should be here, contact me via email and I can add it to the list. I will keep updating this post so make sure you keep checking back. Also keep an eye on Three Thousand for a weekly rundown on all the interesting events happening around Melbourne.

Cratemen

Photo by me, taken on the Geelong - Melbourne train journey just outside of Newport

Who is this mysterious crateman? I've seen him hanging around Melbourne train lines in various poses. He seems like a cool guy.

Bastille Day at Sorry Grandma

J'adore le Francais. Paris, city of love. French accents. Daft Punk. Film noir. Pain au chocolat. Madeline. Garance Dore. Vincent Moon. Michel Gondry. Chanel. Chloe. Le Smoking. Berets. Striped tops. Marcel Marceau. Marcel Duchamp. Palace of Versailles. Victor Hugo. Hedi Slimane. Lou Dillon. Jaques Costeau. Marie Currie (just kidding, I hate science)... and so the list goes on. 

I learnt French for five years at school, even going on a trip to New Caledonia (I remember buying a packet of Tim Tams for NZD$12 and nearly stepping on a sea snake), but French just wasn't my forte. And so I dropped it after 5th form when the teacher's looks of disappointment at my lack of progress got to be too much. Four years later and the only phrases I can remember are "Je ne sais pas" (I don't know) and "Je ne comprend pas" (I don't understand). Hmmm, that kind of says something doesn't it? 

Like many women/girls/females (I'm about to turn 20 and I'm in the middle of going through a Britney Spears-esque existential crisis) I have an unrealistic dream of one day living in Paris. With the lyrics "One day we're going to live in Paris /// I promise /// I'm on it" there is no wonder why Friendly Fires' song Paris makes me close my eyes, cross my fingers and sing along in an unusually fervent display of emotion. That dream will come true at some point in the next 10 years, but luckily I've got Sorry Grandma's Bastille Day ball to tide me over in the mean time.

Sorry Grandma is a new Melbourne club with paintings on the walls which have been defaced with googly-eyes. While the drinks may be overpriced, I especially love Sorry Grandma for the decor. On July 12 Sorry Grandma are having a costume ball in honour of Bastille Day. French celebrations + dress ups + good music + good company sounds like a great night out to me. 

Here's what Sorry Grandma had to say about it:

Sacre bleu!
In le grande tradition of the famous honkytonks Bastille Day Balls comes the very first Sorry Grandma! Bastille Day Ball!
C'est magnifique!
Clearly this is not until Dimanche, Juillet 12 but we need time to get ready, and believe me, so do you!
It is a strictly costume affair mes amis, so use your imagination and thrill the world!
Such marvels we have planned!
C'est formidable!!!! C'est belle idee! ! ! 
C'est trop artistic!!!!

Bon chance et bon nuit xxx

I love costume parties, but there's always the tough decision to go all out or play it cool and understated. How extravagant should I go? What if I'm too over dressed and my wig ends up poking someone in the eye? What if my corset causes me to faint dramatically on the dancefloor? Will I be able to rave in a hoop skirt? And do I stick to the year exactly, what if I find something from 1791 and someone calls me out for it? That wouldn't be fun. All I'd be left with would be a pumpkin and one glass slipper.

There's so much to think about! I've got to start putting together my costume! I need to start practicing my nonchalant "Mais, oui."

You Make Me Crazy When You...

Here are some photos I took last week at the Presets. The whole gig, I was just ecstatic -- apart from when Architecture in Helsinki were playing, they were rather dull. I know that I would only bore you with all the superlatives if I tried to put those feelings in writing (yes, I am aware that I gush a lot in this blog but really, when I love a band, I love a band), so hopefully the photos will speak for themselves.

I'm looking for a live recording of their set from this tour, can anyone help me out? Triple J?

Did I mention I love Melbourne?

Night Life

Photo credit: Hobo Gestapo

Cut Copy have just announced that they will be hosting a few parties around Australia to celebrate the expansion of their Cutters Record label. The Melbourne leg of the tour will take place at Roxanne Parlour on May 22nd, with both Cut Copy DJs and Knightlife on the decks.

Excited much?

Tickets can be bought here: moshtix

I Put a Spell on You

As soon as I heard the first dial tones of U.R.A. Fever and the Kills walked on stage, I knew that the gig was going to be amazing. Stalking and circling each other like feral cats, VV and Hotel put on a performance that was one of the best I have seen in a looong time. The crowd was electric, everyone was dancing and having a good time. It had been four long years since the Kills last visited our antipodean shores and Melbourne was definitely glad to have them back, even if it was just for a night. The drought was over! Let's celebrate. I would say that the show was phenomenal, but I could tell that it was nothing out of the ordinary for the Kills who put on an extraordinary show every night. 

Their rise in popularity has been gradual (and perhaps even further boosted by Jamie's relationship with Kate Moss) but all their successes are well deserved. Before Cut Copy's In Ghost Colours came out, Midnight Boom was my favourite album of 2008 and I still listen to it regularly. I might even go as far to say it's my favourite of their albums. Key word being might. Their live performance is renowned for being rock n roll at its best: it's all about the intensity, the grit, the drugs and the sex. You really don't know it until you see it. 

Alison whips her hair around, clearly still enjoying the songs they must have played hundreds of times by now. She lit up a cigarette numerous times throughout the night, sometimes only having the chance to take two puffs between songs before she had to stub it out. What is it about beautiful girls and cigarettes that makes smoking look so darn (dare I say it?) ... cool?

Jamie was standing closest to me and I really enjoyed watching him distort the sounds coming out of his guitar. Sometimes he rapped on the guitar with his knuckles so hard that the strap fell off. 

No doubt the highlight of the night was in the middle of the set when they put their mic stands in the centre of the stage so they were facing each other as they sang. It was clear that this was a regular part of their show, to play up their reputation and to stir rumours, but the crowd loved it none the less. The best part came at the end of Last Day of Magic when Alison leaned over and kissed Jamie on the lips. I nearly died.

It was interesting seeing a band play without a drum kit, but the drum machine thingy worked well and I was so focused on watching Jamie and Alison that I never really noticed its absence anyway. There's no room and they don't need it. All of that sexual tension takes up the whole stage and a drummer would only feel left out as the two front people teased and flirted with each other. 

Now that I have seen them live, I know that next time they are in the same city as me I will do anything to see them perform again. I really wish I hadn't let a small thing like being underage stop me from seeing them last time.

Because I was on the far left of the stage, the side lighting often thwarted my attempts to take a photo. But sometimes they made a cool effect, like this one.

Moments before the kiss...

I love this moment. Jamie played the wrong part, again.

When I saw Alison come back onstage wearing this floral blazer, I knew I had to find one for myself.

I seem to have developed quite the gift for getting set lists. I thought I saw the girl next to me brace herself to jump on stage and as the Kills were walking off stage so I told her if she wanted it, I would give her a lift up. She looked at me, horrified by the idea and said I could have it. I didn't hesitate, and crawled across the stage to get it, pissing off the roadies on the way. I probably should be embarrassed by my actions but hey, I really wanted it and I wasn't going to let anything stop me.

From where I was standing, I could see straight into the backstage area. Louis XIV (who were not noteworthy) stuck around after their set, a couple of beautiful girls were making them laugh. I recognised the bassist from the Killers amongst the people backstage and I told a girl next to me, "The Killers are backstage!" She looked at me as if I was the stupidest person ever and said, her words dripping with animosity, "... The Kills." Before rolling her eyes. "Uuum, no I just saw the bassist from the Killers... "

Cat and the Eye

I almost gave up trying to find Roxanne Parlour, but I'm so so glad I persevered. Numerous times I walked up and down Lonsdale and Russell streets, hoping to find Roxanne's laneway that Google Maps had told me was somewhere near. I was going in search of this:

The bouncer at Emerald Peacock (another bar I must check out sometime soon) told me I would find it in Chinatown, but wasn't exactly sure where. I dodged girls in traditional Chinese robes trying to stuff pamphlets in my hand, all the while keeping an eye out for Roxanne. I knew I was getting near when I found myself behind a group of well dressed people singing  "Roxanne, you don't have to put on that red light... " in the tempo of um, drunk. 

There was no signs in the laneway (see, already adapting to the Melbourne lingo!) apart from one for a strip club, so I tentatively asked a bouncer if he knew were Roxanne was. He laughed at me, opened the door and pointed inside. I caught the lift upstairs, it was one of those really awkward ones, where we all knew we were heading to the same place and therefore had some common ground, but weren't sure whether to make polite small talk with each other. What would we say? I'm particularly bad in awkward lifts, all I want to do is laugh out loud at the situation.  I bit my lip. The music that was seeping down the lift shaft from the bar was the only escape from the awkward silence. As soon as the elevator doors opened everyone went their separate ways without looking back. 

I don't know a lot about Australian bands outside those who have been on bfm, played at Camp a Low Hum or those who are on Modular's roster, but I am very very keen to get to know them. I am keeping an open mind, not wanting to judge a band based on their name. I didn't flinch when I heard the band on stage were called 'Scientists of Modern Music'.  I arrived just as the Scientists were ending their set, at which point they announced that their next song, "is called Generic Dance Music." Oh, haha, I get it. Irony. I like it. Unfortunately for them, it actually was generic. I think it was made for people who have never listened to a Kraftwerk or Devo album. It was a lite version of Kraftwerk. Even their synchronised dance moves seemed totally pathetic to me after seeing Metronomy only a few months before. The crowd loved it, everyone seemed to be having a great time, getting all dancey and sweaty and stuff. They have an album coming out later this year so who cares about integrity or originality when you're rolling in it, right?

Van She was the headlining act and the fact that they were late on stage did not sit well with some people. I managed to squeeze my way to the front, right next to the huge speaker that was hanging from the ceiling. Some guy behind me kept getting more and more aggressive as time went on and the sound guys were still setting up. It was pretty rude, he was abusing the people on stage as if it was their fault the main stage was running late. I ignored him, apart from occasionally swatting away his elbows when they got a little too close to my head. When Van She finally got on stage the first thing I noticed was what the lead singer was wearing. Now I know musicians generally dress well in a "skinny black jeans and cool vintage clothing" kind of a way, but this guy had an eye for detail I haven't really seen in a singer before. I was impressed. When he crouched down to plug in his guitar, I noticed tartan socks poking out from his jeans. The girls next to me noticed too and practically swooned at the sight. He was wearing a really nice jacket too, which reminded me of this Karen Walker coat, only a male version of it: 

Here's a picture I took, to give you some idea what it looked like: 

They played all my favourite songs, including Virgin Suicide and Changes. Of course they left Strangers and Kelly 'til the end. The whole time I was just grinning. I had been told that Van She put on a good show, but boy, you really don't know it until you see it. I love them even more now. Here are some more photos I took:

Seeing Sounds was a benefit concert hoping to raise awareness about youth violence and drunken violence at gigs.  Unfortunately the crowd at Van She was exactly that, aggressive and drunk. No one was really looking out for each other and it was a bit of a mess. The speaker next to me was swinging dangerously for most of the gig, I narrowly missed getting hit in the head. Idiots.

Van She Tech played a few hours later, a DJ duo consisting of Van She's singer and synth player/guitarist. Van She Technologic remixes are some of my favourites, especially their reworking of Feist's 1 2 3 4, and Klaxon's Gravity's Rainbow. I ended up dancing til the wee hours, it was the perfect ending to an already great night.